This has been a crazy year. A few tears may or may not have been shed at the end of some very long days. I owe a huge thank you to those who listened to my frustrations (know that I tried really hard to keep them to myself)! Even though it's been challenging, I have learned so much. My kids the last few weeks have been telling me over and over again how they never want to leave and this was their favorite year of school. That is the best thing in the world for me to hear! I'm glad I was able to really hide some of the struggles that I had in order for them to have a successful and fun year. That's what it's all about!
February was particularly hard and one night I knew I was just on the verge of tears and I went to check my email and had the most genuinely kind and sincere email from a parent of how I have built up her daughter's confidence and helped her to believe in herself again. I don't say this to brag and nice parent emails are not too uncommon but this one was what I really needed after a really hard week. Of course I called my mom bawling because I was so touched. It was these little tender mercies and answers to some worrisome prayers that really helped me push through.
I've learned so much about myself this year and working through some of these struggles has really helped me gain confidence of what I'm capable of in my profession. There were days that I went home and couldn't believe what I had just done. My job is hard but I've been reminded constantly that I chose the right job for me. My teacher friends will totally appreciate this one.... last week I read an article that I absolutely LOVED called, "The Hardest Job Everyone Thinks They Can Do." Ugh, unfortunately it's so true. There is nothing glamorous about what I do, but I work my tail off even if most of it goes unnoticed or appears simple. Managing 30 kids at a time and making sure they're learning on top of that is difficult but I'm glad to say at the end of year two it's becoming second nature to get it done.
I have one goal that has evolved as I've taught but it's basically that any child that's placed in my class will know what it feels like to be successful and find joy in learning.
I feel so blessed to be trusted with these children, even when they're challenging. There are things I have learned from being around kids and one of those is to quickly bounce back after you feel hurt. We have come a long way this year and we started each day fresh with no hard feelings. I know this summer I will miss the hugs, the cute notes on my desk and the (millions of) knock knock jokes, but that's how this public school thing works. We love them, we serve them, then we send them off. Next year I will have a brand new group of kiddos. The class as a whole will have a different personality but I'll still have my "good" kids, my smart kids, my class clowns and my challenging kids. It keeps me constantly on my feet and makes me a better person!