7 it started as a joke, i swear . . .

So, a few weeks ago Sarri-do-dah and I decided to tune into The Bachelor to make fun of it (bad idea). About an hour and 30 minutes into the season premier, the criticizing and poking fun stopped and the predictions started. Who might win? I wonder who's really here for Jake? How many of these girls have had, eh em, plastic surgery?

So I will now forcefully expose you to my personal rankings thus far. (Please don't judge me for writing a blog about a television show. You don't understand my current life situation & the fact that I live vicariously through people these days.)

Tenley, i've said it from day one and i'll say it again, you are amazing. If Jake does not choose you, I will take it upon myself to punish him. Heart you 4ever girlfriend.

Ali, yeah yeah, your date was adorable, but you're starting to bug. There's only 5 spots left so I have to put you somewhere.

OMG Gia. Your hair! Umm, can I scalp you please? Ok, you're a doll, but that doesn't mean you're a great match for Jake. And that doesn't mean your cheesy laugh doesn't bug the crap out of me. Nothing personal.

Corrie, umm, hmmm.... got nothing.

Vienna, wow. You are so strange. I am really confused why you are still here. I must say, you have a pretty mouth and the bottom of your nose is great, but the top of your nose and eyes really bother me. No, I did not pause the show 50 times and cover up parts of your face until I figured that out. Anyways, get lost woman, you're stressin me out.You must understand, my analyzations have come from many discussions with the roommates and long hours of thinking about Jake's future. So they're extremely accurate.

AND Moral of the Story: Never start anything as a joke, because it's really embarrassing when it turns around & smacks you in the face proven by the fact that you live & breathe for 7pm on Monday night.