Okay I'm like 85 years old right now. Remember how I was perma-sick for a couple months? Well, it was confirmed I had mono in my system which is actually good because I was feeling like a lazy loser and now I know I was infected with a disease that made me tired after even putting the teensiest amount of effort into anything. And I take Olympic champion naps daily.
My life goes like this:
I don't have time to do random things I love. It's fine. I'm not mad.
But I have about 55 craft and sewing projects I want to do right now. Except I'm about to move and lugging new crafts down to Arizona would probably not thrill the bf too much (especially when we're already thinking we'll need my car, a truck and a moving trailer to get just my pre-wedding items to Tucson). It's really hard because sometimes I try to pretend I'm just this simple little southern girl who lives off the land but then I remember I have 934 shirts in my closet and I need to make 10 Goodwill runs this week.
Back to my need to craft. The other day, I was looking at something I wanted to sew and I teared up a little. That might sound dramatic, and only because it is, but I really wanted to just create something. I miss having a creative outlet. I also think it's the birth control. My new favorite thing in the world is to blame anything I do that's a little socially unacceptable or over the top on birth control. Like tearing up over a project I can't sew.
The other day Sean and I went golfing and on the way to the golf course, I almost burst into tears.
Our conversation went like this:
Sean: "Are you sad?"
Me: "No." Sniffle sniffle
Sean: "Why are you crying?"
Me: "I'm not" Sniffle
Sean: "I think you're sad."
Me: "I'm not sad."
Sean: "Are you crying?"
Me: "No." Tear drop
But really, I thought I was going to fall apart at any second. I thought in my head, "Danielle, if you were to cry right now, what would be the reason?"
I racked my brain and could not think of a THING.
Now that's a legit 'blame it on the birth control' story. But I love doing things like not cleaning my house or not doing my hair and just saying, "Oh it's the birth control." Mostly because it leaves people so confused.
It's also incredibly liberating.
What would it be like to be able to work 3 days a week or just not clean your house or sleep into 11? Would I hate myself for being lazy or would I love myself so much because that would be the coolest life ever?
Anyways, I have to go get the kids from music. I really love this class but music can go by so fast. Grr.