2 random ramblings 3

A few months ago, I wrote this letter to my husband:

Dear Husband,

You better be bangin hot. You better be smart, charismatic & nice. If you make a billion dollars, I won't complain. You better have a testimony & you better make me laugh. Is that too much to ask for? It shouldn't be for all the %$^&* i've been through.

You're kind of ticking me off lately. Haven't seen your face around & it's getting a little annoying. No pressure for a ring, but could you at least try making an appearance at some of the Provo All Star parties I've been hitting up recently? Oh, you're too good for that? That's my boy! I knew you were exactly what I was looking for.

Anyways, I'm terribly upset with you. You're making this much much harder on me. So why don't you just think about what you've done & we can talk about it in the morning. And when I say "talk about it," I mean, we can plan the wedding. Flowers. Bridesmaids. Appetizers. "I love you Binky, but I don't have to like you right now."

Love your adoring wife,

Danielle

P.S. I think it's about time we stop pretending i'mhaving an affair with Sara Mildenhall. You know it & I know it. The truth is, she's been there for me when you haven't. I hope we can get this all figured out.

Millions of letters poured in from single women around the world with their responses & feelings in accordance with this letter. Do you believe me?

Anyways.

I've always wanted to say that.

Today I went to my little brother's school because he was presenting in his class. It was precious, except probably the best thing that happened there was reading the papers about heroes outside the classroom walls. Personal favorite: "My hero is Wendy because she lets me eat all the fried chicken I want."

What a kid. He knows a true hero.

Reminded me of a conversation I had this summer in the car with my little brother & his friend "Twix" (Twix's ethnicity will remain private).

Chase: "All I care about is that my girl looks good in yoga pants."

Twix: "Nah man, she just gotta be thick."

Mmmm, good point Twix.

What the crap you guys? I've been such a cry baby lately! Not at sad things, but happy, happy things. Like watching the first song in Prince of Egypt with my family last night. I'm not saying that did happen, it's just something that could've happened. So it didn't, it's just an example.

If you ever get bored, I have a really good idea for you. Fast forward that clip to 4:34 & sing that part as loud as you can. It'll startle everyone in the house. I forgot my dad was sleeping on the couch & just busted it out. He jumped a mile, that poor man.

P.S. Today i've made myself laugh so hard, I cried. Twice. Yessss.