I got rebuked today at church. Not publicly of course, but I started getting a little nervous in my chair as my bishop showed this video.
It was literally last night that I was pouring out my heart to Nat about how I've become very complacent in the last 6 months as a protective mechanism. For me, it's been much easier to look after myself and not care about things at all than to invest in something and then hurt my heart. I have become so consumed in my job (which happens to be constantly looking after others, so I rationalize it), that I have forgotten to look around me. I have worked way longer hours than I should have to distract myself and all my priorities started shifting. I have lost the desire to be excited about things in the future and would much rather live day to day and not care. On that emo note, today was what I needed and my prayers have been answered. Every talk and lesson I felt was for me. I know I need to make plans and be proactive about things again.
When you live with people, you know so well their strengths and weaknesses. (And you start to do things the same, like last sunday when all of the roommates of highland park 10 filed into the Relief Society brunch at completely different times wearing sweat pants, tie dyed shirts and EVEN black spandex spankies. That stuff just starts to happen.) Nat knows me. She knows all of my struggles right now and she knows my heart. I got several nudges during church today to ensure I was paying close attention to certain things. So I have committed myself to being happier and more faithful even though my plans have been continually flipped upside down. I guess that's what this learning thing is all about. I love you all!